This shocking and bizarre fact is the only conclusion once one assembles four pieces of information

  1. The Philosophical Musing of David Chalmers
  2. Some More Serious But More Creepy Work by Nick Bostrom
  3. The Unassailable Logic of Fuck You, Penguin
  4. My Own Google Images Search Results

 

First, David Chalmers suggests that we should attempt to create smarter than human intelligence by simulating natural selection. After all, natural selection created us, so its proof that something dumb can make something smart. We’re pretty dumb so that works in our favor.

Second, Nick Bostrom argues that at least one of the following is true:

  1. Most human-level civilizations will not advance to the point where they can create intelligent simulations
  2. Most civilization which can create intelligent simulations don’t want to
  3. We are probably living in a simulation.

Using Chalmers’ reasoning we can rule out both (1) and (2). That is, even a dumb civilization can create intelligence using natural selection and it would want to since that’s the best way to get to super-intelligence.

Thus, we are living in a simulation and we were created so as to be super-intelligence for some other life form

Third, Chalmers further argues that once we have created this super-intelligent simulation we should upload ourselves into its world rather than downloading it into ours.

If this is true then the creators have probably uploaded themselves into our world. How can we tell who they are?

Several clues:

First, they will probably try to manipulate us so as to use our (relative to them) super intelligence to their advantage. Fuck You, Penguin brilliantly documents all of the ways in which cute furry animals attempt to infiltrate our brains and get us to do their bidding.

However, we cannot assume that all furry animals are the creators. No, the creators are likely to be the most sinister, the most snide, the most self-important. They are likely to have millions of humans serving them while they give nothing in return.

And, most importantly once they realize that we are on to them they are likely to hit back with a public relations campaign that strikes adoration into the hearts of humans across the globe. They are likely to use our most powerful communications medium, the internet, to spread this propaganda.

You can see by now that I speak of only one thing. Below the fold, behold the face of true totalitarian oppression:

Rise up my fellow humans! This is what EVIL looks like!

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